Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
