The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
