I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
