I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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