Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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