Your face is a jimmy john
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize