I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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