Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
