Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize