I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
