What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
