Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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