i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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