I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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