i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
