Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
