If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
