someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize