I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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