Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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