sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
