i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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