Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
