Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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