the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize