Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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