marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize