He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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