Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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