Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
