nut hugger
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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