So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
