Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
