I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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