you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
