WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
