Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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