I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize