Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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