She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
