If that was your dad, he is hot
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
