remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
