You really coming over, don't trick.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
