So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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