people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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