I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize