omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
