How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
