I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
