Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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