someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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