is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
