I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
