It's Friday. Sex?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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