It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
