I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
