Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
