Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
