i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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