her vagina looked like bernie madoff
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
