I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
