so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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