My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
