STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
