What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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